Somtimes, everything sucks.

today is basically one of those times.

do you ever have a day, and everything is just blah, but you think, well at least _________ is happening. and then, ___________ doesn't happen, and even though it's not even a big deal, it like, destroys your day.

well, my day was boring and stupid, i went to find more work clothes, and found nothing.

then i had a nap for like two hours, because there was nothing else to do.

then boyfriend calls and says he can't hang out tonight because he's too tired from work.

and then i effin CRIED. cried! can you bloody believe that. over something as insignificant as not seeing him for ONE DAY. I have seen him everyday this week, and i cried over one day.

why? because all week i looked forward to the weekend, and now the weekend is sucking. so the weekend can suck, and then have another week of suck, and this retarded pattern can continue until the end of the BLEEPING summer.

(dear mom, i edit my cursing for you)

and then, while i cry on the bathroom floor, because B is in the room, all i can think is

how pathetic is this?

i can't be alone for one bloody day without losing it? i'm so frickin tired, and tired of being here, and i just really desperately want to find my "niche", if you will.

i want to have a HOME where i can go home every night, and lay on the couch after dinner with BF and go to bed everynight, in my own bed, and know where everything is, and have everything the way that i want, and never have to feel like i am just suspended in nothing.


GAHHAHGHAKLGHDISALFJIEUSIAHFKLDSJAIFDE