laying here
i might be dying
the ripping, tearing, burning through my mind
i'm screaming, i'm dying
i'm silent.
and then,
a thought
this is real
i am strong
i am resilient and perseverant
the pain is scorching
no physical marks, but emotional lascerations
but still, my mind locks on the thought
i have weathered it all
never dulled it down, or shut it out
i open my arms, and welcome it,
because i know it comes, and then it goes
it goes and i am stronger
every scar on my heart makes it harder to pierce
it is part of my life, i can feel it coming
i do not drink myself to sleep
i do not alter my reality with drugs
i do not pretend everything is fine
it is real, and it happens, and i accept it
i am stronger.
i don't have to beat you down to know i am indestructible
because every morning, i wake with a smile
and i have won.
crappy crap day
16 years ago