Friday, December 26, 2008

supercalafragelisticexbialadocious

laying here

i might be dying

the ripping, tearing, burning through my mind
i'm screaming, i'm dying
i'm silent.

and then,

a thought

this is real
i am strong

i am resilient and perseverant

the pain is scorching
no physical marks, but emotional lascerations

but still, my mind locks on the thought

i have weathered it all

never dulled it down, or shut it out

i open my arms, and welcome it,

because i know it comes, and then it goes
it goes and i am stronger

every scar on my heart makes it harder to pierce

it is part of my life, i can feel it coming

i do not drink myself to sleep
i do not alter my reality with drugs
i do not pretend everything is fine

it is real, and it happens, and i accept it

i am stronger.

i don't have to beat you down to know i am indestructible

because every morning, i wake with a smile

and i have won.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Here's to you, you bus driving bastards.

SO.

in the certain city where i reside, the bus union has decided that it is time for them to strike.

maybe i am biased, but to me this is clearly a very strategic time, and the strategy is aimed right at the hearts of the students.

obviously, students are the main users of the bussing system. we are dirt poor, and unless we live with our parents, we can't usually afford a car, the insurance required to legally drive said car, nor could we (up until recently) afford gas. the obvious choice for the average, non-wealthy, non-parent's house living student is the bus. it goes everywhere, at many times of day, and is about as cheap as it gets.

sure, it smells, people wipe their snot on the seats, and it rarely shows up when the signs say it will, but it becomes a very necessary part of the poor student's life. it is how we are able to spend time with friends, go grocery shopping, get to our menial part time jobs that provide us with enough money to survive, oh and also

WE LIKE TO USE IT TO GET TO OUR BLOODY EXAMS.

yes, ladies and gentlemen, this certain city's transpo has decided to strike right smack in the middle of exam season.

here is what i assume they think (hope) will happen.

bus's go on strike, and students are devastated because now they can't get to their exams. they realize that the city's suggestion of "carpooling" is ludicrous due to the fact that most of us DON'T OWN CARS. they figure we will all be so lost and disoriented that we will all phone the city and say "for the love of all that is holy, just give them what they want so we can ride our beloved bus!!" then they assume that the city will give in, and they will get their ridiculous 10.5% pay raise. then, of course, they are the ones in power, because any time in the future that they want absolutely anything, they can just have a strike right in exam times (preferably in the winter, so that students wouldn't dare try to walk for fear of becoming a human popsicle) and they will get whatever the hell their vacant hearts desire.

and, perhaps there will be students who do just that.

but what these transpo jerks don't realize is that we university students are pretty damn crafty. we're in university for a reason yo! we can find other ways. for some it's harder than others, that's true, and certainly, there will be students who have a really hard time dealing with this strike, and my heart honestly goes out to them, because if it wasn't for my aunt with a spare car, i would be one of them.

despite all that, here is what i really hope happens:

the transpo strike goes the way of the hockey strike.
they go on strike,
a few people are really upset,

but most people don't give a shit.

then, when they realize that the world goes on without them, they can come back to the city with their tails between their legs and sheepishly accept a much lower offer than they were offered yesterday, before they were on strike.

the whole concept of the "strike" has always baffled me, and also pissed me off. let us ponder strikes we have dealt with in the past....

it seems to me that these strikes usually do very little to hurt the people they are pissed off at. the bus drivers are pissed at the city government, so they go on strike. do you think any people working for the city government take the damn bus?? i think not. so they hurt the students, the low income families, the people trying to do their part for the environment. its like the very low scale equivalent to getting in a fight with someone, and holding a gun to someone else's head and saying "i will shoot them if you don't do what i say"

we didn't do anything.

if anything, we should strike against them! they are the ones who are always, ALWAYS late. the ones who drive past us when its 20 below and the bus is half empty. the ones who stop at friggin tim hortons for a coffee when you are just trying to get to work on time!!!

what would they do if we did this to them? a strike that actually affected the guilty party?

i'm a realistic girl, and i'll tell you right now as soon as those bus bastards get their prissy asses back in their bus driver seats, i'll be giving my aunt's car back, and getting back on the stupid bus. why? because i have no choice. i believe i mentionned above that i am dirt poor. what i know, is that we really have to hear the message here, and blame the right people.

they are putting a sour taste in the mouth of everyone who relies on public transit here, and i believe that is the opposite of what we want. we should be encouraging it, not making bus goers desire to scream obscenities at their driver when they get off the bus, instead of "thank you"

what it comes down to is, have your money war, if you think bus driving is that high tech of a job, but leave us little guys out of it...we are not your hostages.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

ummmm....merry november?

is anyone else perturbed by the fact that malls are already playing christmas music?

i saw a man in a santa suit today

the grocery store already has their xmas candy hanging around.

IT IS NOVEMBER YOU TOOLS!!

when i was younger, and my dad would scoff people who had their xmas lights on early, i always made fun of him for hating on people for having christmas spirit.

but isn't november the 8th a little early, even for me?

maybe its just because i am forcing myself to not feel xmas-y this year.

maybe i am a scrooge!

damn.

anyways, i am bored outta my friggin skull.

i would kill for some rainbow sorbet.







arg.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Hello world

I haven't blogged in forever.

not that i haven't had anything to aimlessly rant about, i have just lacked computer access.

my apartment is messy, and i have to start making tacos in five minutes.

i just watched a movie about andy warhol and edie sedgwick. it was odd, but kinda good i think.

a job has NOT called me.

sadness.

plus, i am sick. i am always sick, because i am always stressed up to my eyeballs, and my immune system has no time to catch up.

damn sir, this blog sucks.

ttyl

Sunday, August 3, 2008

oh boyfriend

please get your butt over here and make me feel better.

:(

Saturday, August 2, 2008

you know what really grinds my gears?

all the facebook and myspace girls who put up (usually somewhat unflattering) pictures of themselves, with crudely slapped on fluorescent letters, spelling out lame lyrics that they have chosen that apparently describe

their self;
their situation;
their hate for their ex-boyfriend;
their philosophy on life;
their love of getting tanked and forgetting who or what the did last night.

it started with just a few, until one day when it seemed like everyone was doing it.

am i supposed to be impressed?

this may seem like a lame thing to complain about, but it just seems so loser-esque.

although, i guarantee that there's someone who reads this and goes....

what a loser!

if there are actually any people who read this.

in which case, are they the loser for wasting their time for looking at my blog?
am i the loser for looking at the stupid pictures?

do you ever wish that everything was simple? you look up and the sky is blue, you look down and the grass is green. your face always smiles and you never have to wonder about anything.

because when everything is simple, there is nothing to wonder.

oh me.

i need some snuggles with boyfriend <3

laziness

is today's theme.

nothing to do, nowhere to go. just chillin.

last night i filled out what was my very first ever rental application, and i am getting veryyyyy nervous!!!

i really want the apartment. even though it was smaller than i expected, it just felt like it could be our home. i could see where all the furniture would go, i could see us cuddling on the couch watching movies, sitting at the dinner table after a long day, talking.

i keep trying to rationalize it to myself, thinking "they knew we were students when they told us about it, they have to know that we can't work full time jobs" but i just keep worrying. perfect neighborhood, own back yard, free laundry, clean, brand new appliances, bitchin bathroom and bedroom.

GAH!

boyfriend bought a trans am, and though i am moderately financially opposed, it's a pretty bad ass car.

J's b-day party was actually pretty decent. by the end of the night she was trashed outta her mind, but i enjoyed myself. i had a virgin strawberry daiquiri and it was delish.

i only have 3 weeks left of work, and i am prettttty damn excited to be finished with that. GB just gets worse and worse, and i wanna punch her in her GB-y mouth.

but back to moving, it is what we call "crunch time" whether we get this place or not, we have soooo much to do! of course, there is much more to do if we don't get it, but either way. i have to arrange moving truck and cable and internet and phone, as well as people to help move....

UGHGHGHGHGHG WHEN DOES THE STRUGGLING END?

me thinks never.

but for today, there is laziness.

so bite it, life!