have you ever

connected with someone you thought you had no connection to, at a totally unexpected time?

its like you talk to them, see a mental photo of their past, and realize all of a sudden that they practically are you, far into your future (you hope for better career options but...)

and then, when you listen to them spill their guts, and you spill yours, you suddenly see everything in a clearer way. everything is much simpler, because they don't contradict you when you say things. they don't tell you to think about it differently, they just say

yes. i know what you mean. i know how you feel. i have felt it.

and all of a sudden, all of the doubting you had in yourself is gone,
all the hours you have spent wondering what to say,
all the wondering about what the unbiased truth was.

and then you are left with

anger.
words.
relief.
pain.

and you know that saying what you feel like saying will mean nothing, because they will be angry, and you will be hurt. she will cry, and so will you.

shocked,
defensive,
never saw it coming

because you were always too afraid.
you always took the easier way.
it was easier to smile while you bit your tongue till it bled.

and now

you are free
and trapped

from the same box you have always occupied.

where do we go from here?