you, madam, are an ignoramous.

my darling sister wrote a news aricle about criticism. she wrote about how common it is today for people to judge things before they know anything about them. her specific example was a blog my brother wrote about how stupid the "twilight" books are. needless to say in this example, he has never read the books, and yet still felt credible enough to write an entire article about how horrible they are.

we all do this everyday...hear one bad song by a band and conclude that they "suck". see one bad essay someone wrote and decide that they are stupid. see some one slip and fall, and label them as clumsy. how much do we really know about things we judge?

the point i am trying to get to, is why are people with the least amount of information usually the first people to judge? we feel we can take some sort of snap shot of a situation and draw grand conclusions from it. sometimes, unfortunately, our daily extrapolating can have unfortunate consequences.

the worst part of this little phenomenon is the tendency for those lacking in information to try to contradict the statements of those in-the-know. someone who is informed, and able to make a sound decision based on experience and fact. the lacking individual will quite often try to tell the knowing individual that they are wrong to think, feel, and act how they do, despite the fact the lacking individual has no idea what the shit they are talking about

real life up close and personal example:

myself and my dear old dad

for those of you who don't know, my dad is dead. has been for some time....3.5 years to be roughly exact. he was an alcoholic, an unfit parent, and just a generally unpleasant and unkind person. he committed suicide, and proceeded to ruin the lives of 5 individuals (namely my family). now, he probably also ruined the lives of other's in his family, but being that they could not have cared less whether we were breathing or not, i will not proceed to give a shit in this writing.

of course, i went through the phase of "oh my god he was my dad and he is totally dead". let me tell you, it sucked! but eventually, i came to realize that yes, he was my father, but he was a damn crappy one!! just because he is dead doesn't mean i have to put him on some sort of pedestal and act like he was a hero just because now he lives in a jar! sure, i can remember some good times, some laughing and whatnot, but it's always over crowded by the fear, anger, depression, self-loathing, and hopelessness that he was so incredible at invoking in me.

some people look at this and say "well then, you are not over it. you are not truly over it until you can let go of all bad things"

well, first of all, i will never be over it. i am confident in saying if it had ever happened to you, you would never get over it either. second of all, leaving the incorrectness of the chosen terminology out of it, who is to say that i am not "over" it? i don't believe (and won't believe) that acceptance and moving on means forgetting what was real and pretending that everything was different from what it was. that, quite frankly, is the opposite of acceptance, and i am also just not that into lying to myself.

so, when i tell you my dad was not a good person, don't try to tell me that he was. you didn't know him, and even if you think you did, you didn't know him like i did, or like my family did. when i tell you i am a better person since he died, don't look at me like i am the devil. i am simply telling you a truth. i have learned from the situation, and lived my life accordingly. i have grown and learned how to smile without screaming inside.

things i say (especially when its me and my brother together) make people uncomfortable, because they can never imagine feeling how i feel. you can't imagine yourself laughing about your dead father, so that makes us horrible people.

no, it doesn't. he ruined us, for a long time. he was my father, and i can say, feel, and act however i want about it. i am accepting truth, i am moving on because nothing can be changed now. it is what it was, and that is all.

when something traumatic happens in a life, everyone has a different way to deal, and there are few ways that can be considered "wrong". if pushing the bad aside to only remember the good is what makes you happy, and helps you along the way, then that is all that matters. you should never let someone tell you how to feel (unless you are being self destructive, or harmful to others). i'm just getting tired of people telling me how they think i should feel.

so think about it, the next time you are quick to judge someone. this is not to say that i will never judge someone prematurely again...i know i will. i'm not proud of it, sometimes it happens before we think about it.

just watch what actually comes out of your mouth.